Lady Ristretto

Playwright. Novelist. Poet. Creator of Action Figure Erotica. Writer of Micro erotic fridge poetry. Working on a cookbook (coffee). A few university degrees. Worked some years in theater and it left me exhausted and slightly deranged. Bipolar and not ashamed of it. I volunteer at a museum. An American living in the UK. Things I adore which are probably surprising: cricket, Robot Wars, Jack Ass, Tim and Eric, Esther Williams movies.

Dying in Pleasure

Erotic, History, Supernatural fantasy

Lucia, the daughter of the richest family in Pompeii, disappears one night. The mystery goes unsolved and life moves on. The lives of Pompeii's citizens intertwine: Ibis, a prostitute running the whorehouse owned by the Aedile, a city official, gets murdered by his wife Lucy. Lucy falls in love with Narcissus, the most treasured gladiator in Pompeii. The Aedile's daughter, Julia, marries Rust, the man suspected to have murdered Lucia. Maro, Lucia's slave, holds the families together and eventually discovers Lucia when she reappears in Pompeii twenty years later, and as a witch. The events in Pompeii converged and lead to its ultimate, inevitable destruction. Only Lucia can help the city and save lives. In a ceremony requiring possession by a god, murder, and necromancy, Lucia discovers what is going to happen. But not everyone manages to get away. Dying in Pleasure brings to life the long dead city of Pompeii, showing its citizens as vibrant, eccentric pleasure seekers. History, pain, violence and ritual blend in a pansexual orgy that is both exciting and extreme from beginning to end.

Abraham Lincoln Eats Pie at the Kali Cafe (an Action Figure Erotic novella)

erotic, history, fantasy

Having abandoned the civil war due to exhaustion, Abraham Lincoln finds pleasure and intimacy in the six arms of the Hindu goddess Kali in her cafe in the California desert.

This short novella is the premiere publication of Action Figure Erotica. The main characters have to have been made into action figures. Time, place, and history doesn't matter. It's like playing with toys as an adult. It's fantasy and myth and history all wrapped up in a sexy package.

Marie Curie Saves the Titanic With a Flying Alien and a Mechanical Bat (and then They Bang) (an Action Figure Erotic novel)

erotic, history, fantasy

Marie Curie is travelling aboard the Titanic on its maiden voyage with many historical figures, such as the Einsteins and Rudolph Valentino. Marie finds herself attracted to two mysterious American men, the ethereally handsome Kent Calhoun and the brooding billionaire Brewster Wainright.

Marie's extended exposure to radiation through scientific research has given her telekinetic powers. But Marie isn't the only one with superhuman powers.

Suffering in an unhappy marriage with an emotionally abusive husband, Marie indulges sexually in the fascinating people around her.

Despite it being a buffet of anachronistic historical figures which borders on the absurd, Marie goes through a very profound and painful journey as she finally determines that she wants her life to change.

This is an Action Figure Erotica novel. The main characters have to have been made into action figures. Time, place, and history doesn't matter. It's like playing with toys as an adult. It's fantasy and myth and history all wrapped up in a sexy package.

The Majestic Genital Kingdom: Micro Erotic Fridge Poetry

erotic, poetry, food

This is a collection of poems I've written through the years using magnetic poetry sets and, most currently, several poetry apps.

A sample...

I am a majestic genital kingdom
sin and die in my burning bush
and I will resurrect you