Charlie Bray
|
Charlie Bray is an author who loves humour and aspires to be a Writer of Smiles.
He has written a good selling novel, Open House at Cove Castle, based on the struggles of a present day family of aristocrats, a laugh out loud rant at the weird world of celebrity and two novellas illustrating how village idiots cope with eBay and ocean cruising. He has also written a useful "How To' eBook which takes authors step by step through the process he applied to write Open House at Cove Castle
|
Open House at Cove Castle
|
Humour
A Tom Sharpe style look at a castle run by a dysfunctional family of aristocrats Cove Castle is skint and Lord Cove and his family face a life on the streets. Watch out Lord Grantham and P.G.Wodehouse. This could happen to Downton Abbey and Blandings Castle, in the 21st century! It lowers its drawbridge to the Great Unwashed No problem. Unless you count squatting, bombings, a drug garden, a ghost's revolt, art forgeries, smuggling and assassination attempts. It's all here. You will not want to put this book down. 'Top novel, Tom Sharpe style, great characters, hard to put down' - Chris Tidy 'Very reminiscent of early Tom Sharpe in style and tone' - Ninette Kelly 'Has the feel of a modern Tom Sharpe. Laugh out loud funny.' - Gary Smailes, BubbleCow. 'Lots of talent, a lovely easy to read writing style, a very good story.' - Lorraine Mace, The Writers Bureau
|
The Trouble With Celebrity
|
Humour
A Humorous Swipe at Celebrity Culture - Rant along with Charlie as he takes a pop at famous celebrities. Well, he’s got more reason than most to have a pop. He’s been knocked out by one, peed on by another and had to pull a gun on one of the Great Train Robbers. He also lost Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, got drunk with Keith Moon and ‘arrested’ John Lennon. Oh, and Charlie went to school with a mass-murderer. Always there to help others, Charlie’s even saved an old lady from a handbag swinging Lady Archer. Add that to one of your novels, Jeffrey! Celebrities Say the Funniest Things - Did you know East Anglia was an African nation and that Sherlock Holmes invented toilets? It’s not and he didn’t, but a certain celebrity thought otherwise. Help Charlie unravel the weird mind of celebrity. The Famous and Their Toys - Learn who lands his own jet liner about ten yards from his front door, and who swims to his Ferrari via his indoor swimming pool. How Did Peppa Pig Corrupt a Two Year Old? - Find out how the wayward pig and a whole host of celebrities were caught behaving badly. Celebrity Wars - Why do famous stars throw phones at hotel staff and punches at toilet attendants? Some even grab testicles and bite noses off. Join Charlie as he names names, and see how the public are fighting back. Special Needs for Special People - You’ll be amazed at the dressing room demands of some of your heroes. But don’t worry, Charlie’s got the answer. A perfectly designed dressing room for all, that doubles up as a green room. What Others Think of This Book - "This short book is a fun diversion from the daily grind" "This is a rather humorous look at the culture of celebrity that I must admit had me chuckling from the first chapter" "I found this book hilarious and literally laughed out loud several times while reading it" "If you sometimes find yourself scratching your head at the fuss of “celebrity for celebrity sake,” then Bray’s rant will resonate and draw a chuckle" "His concise prose had me howling especially over the Great Train robber singing on his way to his trial in a prison van" "This book gets my five stars for what it is- an irreverent look at individuals in the mixed quality pile of people that become, for at least a short time, a brand, a household name" "Charlie Bray gives a witty, lighthearted look at celebrity and what it takes (or rather, what little it takes) to reach this status" "He begins by telling us some interesting encounters he had with celebrities when he was a Nottingham policeman, and follows with his tongue-in-cheek opinions of today’s celebs" "Some of his stories about his own brushes with celebrities are priceless" " a wry and amusing look at what makes a person a celebrity whether they deserve to be or not. Attention-seekers with no discernable talent are one of my pet peeves as certainly as they are Mr. Bray’s" "Sometimes it is refreshing to just rant at what we think of the state of the world - or listen to someone else doing the ranting for us! A 5 star read for sheer relaxation value and fun" "I had a great laugh reading this, so if your brain has been bogged down by too much tedious hard concentration, pick it up. I felt like I was attending a Joan Rivers comedy festival" "I would have to agree with pretty much everything he says, having learned early on that all human idols have feet of clay"
|
The Village Idiots eBay Club
|
Humour
A CLUB FOR QUIRKY PEOPLE - Quirky people buy quirky things - and Ebay is full of quirky things. DANGER ALERT! What if they can't stop bidding? What if their lives become quirkier and quirkier as a result? TIME TO JOIN THE EBAY CLUB! WEEKLY THERAPY - Every week a dozen or so Ebay idiots rock up to the Village Hall carrying an assorted array of nonsense, show it off to their peers and admit, often reluctantly, that they may, just may, have a problem. Here's your chance to gatecrash a meeting and see if you agree. THE LEADER - First you'll meet Big Dick. He rules the club with a rod of iron. But underneath he has a heart of gold – and an incredibly small bladder. Which is a bit of a contradiction, given his name. He misses most of each meeting by dashing to the loo. THE MEMBERS - A wonderful bunch of misfits. From the upper echelons – Lord Marmite, who bids on antique commodes… to society’s underbelly – Micky Finn, who bids on various disguises to go thieving in. Daft Donald, a tiny fellow who loves uniforms… an irate individual named Mr Angry, who bids on lots he can shout at… a vicar who collects bones…David Attenborough, who buys Toys-R-Us cast-offs…Cyril Fox, a barrow boy who deals from a suitcase bigger than Dr Who's tardis…a 90 year old thug who inflicts terror on her sheltered accommodation... two close 'friends', Lamb and lettuce who prance around in mankinis feeding their toes to fish... a robot with a mind of its own...and a lookalikee who employs her own Mr Paparazzi. THE WINNING LOTS - How about a London Routemaster bus for starters, a human skull, a Guardsman’s bearskin, a burqa, a much loved iguana, a destructive Segway scooter, and a selection of candles in the wind. THE ACTION - Carol singers under arrest. A Guardsman being chased by hostile parents. A bus journey from hell. Flying cyclists. Car wars on the high street. Piers Morgan as a punchbag (yesss!), courtesy of the renowned ex-boxer, Sugar Ray Shit for Brains, and Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier, makes a comeback. So come on...take the plunge and dive into this mad world of laugh out loud comedy...they're all there waiting for you. THERE IS ANOTHER VILLAGE IDIOT CLUB. Why not also try out The Village Idiots Cruise Club by Charlie Bray? You'll find it on Amazon Kindle.
|
The Village Idiots Cruise Club
|
Humour
Fancy a Mediterranean cruise with a difference? Are you Sure? WELCOME ABOARD - Idiots do idiotic things, especially when cruising on the high seas You'd be amazed at the fun to be had on a Mediterranean cruise. Life on the ocean waves ain’t what it used to be. MEET THE CREW SLY FOXY, your English speaking host, who knows how to con his customers EVIL AGGIE, the senior citizens' hostess who will make you ‘walk the plank’, and brings tears to the captain’s eyes LAMB & LETTUCE, the mankini wearing fitness coaches who can turn beautiful ladies ugly DAFT DONALD who gets caught naked on stage SPARKY THE ROBOT, the destroyer of masterpieces PIERRE, a strange little Frenchman who boasts of winning the war single-handed BIG DICK, leader of the gang with little to gain and everything to lose JOIN IN THE FUN -Knock out Sugar Ray Shit-for-Brains and earn yourself fifty quid. Dine at the Captain’s table and watch an old lady head-butt him in his unmentionables. Clean up at the casino with a little help from a robot. Take part in the Antiques Cruise Show and lose all your valuables. WATCH THE DRAMA UNFOLD - David Attenborough frightens the ladies. Somali pirates invade the ship … sort of. Mr Angry gets thrown off the ship. A cat burglar takes to a lifeboat. A war breaks out between salsa dancers and rock ‘n rollers. An unplanned Titanic re-enactment unfolds. ENJOY AN EVENING AT THE THEATRE - Take your seat for a talent show to end all talent shows. YOU’LL NEVER LOOK AT CRUISING THE SAME WAY AGAIN - Cruising ain’t cruising unless it’s with the Village Idiots Cruise Club. Step aboard - You’ll love it.
|
A Plotting Blueprint - 10 Steps to a Perfect Plot: How to Prepare a Best Selling Novel
How To
What is so different about this book?
STEP BY STEP IT FOLLOWS HOW A SUCCESSFUL BOOK WAS WRITTEN
A PLOTTING BLUEPRINT – 10 Steps to a Perfect Plot is a How To book with a difference. It is born from the blood, sweat and tears shed by a fledgling author whilst preparing to write his first successful novel.
Charlie Bray's book, 'Open House: Aristocrats, Squatters and Ghosts Share a Castle' is a success and he would like to share with you the ten steps he took to create the working plot that led to this successful novel.
Charlie Bray is a passionate supporter of self-publishing and founded a website, www.theindietribe.com to support and promote independent authors worldwide.
Follow his system and start writing successful novels.
STEP 1 Choose the right genre for you
In this step he shows you how he chose a genre of novel that was right for him and how he established who his target audience was. He shows you how he found out which of his competitors' books were successful, and why readers were buying them. He also shows you how to find those readers. If you follow this step carefully, you can attract the very readers that are making your competitors successful, and establish a strong readership within your chosen genre.
STEP 2 Think of an idea and test it
Charlie shows you how to imagine an idea for a story, and then work out whether it is strong enough to carry you through the complete length of a novel.
STEP 3 Populate your plot
How many characters do you need and what should you expect from them?
Charlie shows you how to successfully populate your plot
STEP 4 Fit your idea into the components of a novel
With a potential story line and the requisite characters firmly ensconced within the author’s head, it is then necessary for these to sit comfortably within the parameters acknowledged as the conventional parts of a novel. Charlie shows you how he did it and how you can do it to ensure that your book succeeds
STEP 5 Choose your plot type and style
There are several acknowledged types of plot that are followed by most authors. Charlie will show you the one that’s right for you.
STEP 6 Shape your plot
Charlie helps you fashion your plot into an effective beginning, middle and end
STEP 7 Plot accessories
Just as you can add accessories to your attire, your car or your house, there are recognized plot accessories as well. These will dramatically enhance your plot and Charlie shows you which accessories he applied to his book’s story line
STEP 8 Deconstructing other novels
Learn how to deconstruct your competitors’ novels and find out what made them best sellers. Then follow the same path
STEP 9 Compiling your road map
By now you’ll be at the stage where we’re ready to lay the foundations of a map for your story, in the form of a synopsis. This is a detailed route planner that will help you get from the beginning to the end of your story with no plot holes, no lack of continuity and no loose ends. It will be a priceless resource for you
STEP 10 Start to write your book
You’re now in a position to start writing in earnest. Everything is planned, your route map is in front of you. You can now write your book chronologically, scene by scene, chapter by chapter.
What is so different about this book?
STEP BY STEP IT FOLLOWS HOW A SUCCESSFUL BOOK WAS WRITTEN
A PLOTTING BLUEPRINT – 10 Steps to a Perfect Plot is a How To book with a difference. It is born from the blood, sweat and tears shed by a fledgling author whilst preparing to write his first successful novel.
Charlie Bray's book, 'Open House: Aristocrats, Squatters and Ghosts Share a Castle' is a success and he would like to share with you the ten steps he took to create the working plot that led to this successful novel.
Charlie Bray is a passionate supporter of self-publishing and founded a website, www.theindietribe.com to support and promote independent authors worldwide.
Follow his system and start writing successful novels.
STEP 1 Choose the right genre for you
In this step he shows you how he chose a genre of novel that was right for him and how he established who his target audience was. He shows you how he found out which of his competitors' books were successful, and why readers were buying them. He also shows you how to find those readers. If you follow this step carefully, you can attract the very readers that are making your competitors successful, and establish a strong readership within your chosen genre.
STEP 2 Think of an idea and test it
Charlie shows you how to imagine an idea for a story, and then work out whether it is strong enough to carry you through the complete length of a novel.
STEP 3 Populate your plot
How many characters do you need and what should you expect from them?
Charlie shows you how to successfully populate your plot
STEP 4 Fit your idea into the components of a novel
With a potential story line and the requisite characters firmly ensconced within the author’s head, it is then necessary for these to sit comfortably within the parameters acknowledged as the conventional parts of a novel. Charlie shows you how he did it and how you can do it to ensure that your book succeeds
STEP 5 Choose your plot type and style
There are several acknowledged types of plot that are followed by most authors. Charlie will show you the one that’s right for you.
STEP 6 Shape your plot
Charlie helps you fashion your plot into an effective beginning, middle and end
STEP 7 Plot accessories
Just as you can add accessories to your attire, your car or your house, there are recognized plot accessories as well. These will dramatically enhance your plot and Charlie shows you which accessories he applied to his book’s story line
STEP 8 Deconstructing other novels
Learn how to deconstruct your competitors’ novels and find out what made them best sellers. Then follow the same path
STEP 9 Compiling your road map
By now you’ll be at the stage where we’re ready to lay the foundations of a map for your story, in the form of a synopsis. This is a detailed route planner that will help you get from the beginning to the end of your story with no plot holes, no lack of continuity and no loose ends. It will be a priceless resource for you
STEP 10 Start to write your book
You’re now in a position to start writing in earnest. Everything is planned, your route map is in front of you. You can now write your book chronologically, scene by scene, chapter by chapter.
|
|
