Alan Crawford
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I created the Stories to Tell Collection to showcase my sarcasm, cynicism, and twisted take on the world. I'm inspired by the likes of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. Several curious people asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully, there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. Wondrously absurd Australian satire where weird, odd, and strange things abound.
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A Story or Two To Tell
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Fiction, Mystery, Crime, Satire
For readers who enjoy their humour with no sugar and no cream. Welcome to A Story or Two to Tell – a wildly entertaining collection that kicks off the Stories to Tell Collection from Australian author Alan Crawford. Meet a retired Environmental Health Officer with a healthy dose of grumpiness and a razor-sharp tongue. From the confines of an aged care complex, he spins interconnected tales of bureaucratic absurdity, personal mishaps, and the kind of chaos that only comes from a lifetime of dealing with the public. Inside you'll find: A complicated underworld of outlaw bike clubs, cult-like church leaders, and reluctant food operators Gruesome murders and the man who takes a lethal approach to solving his problems. A fanciful resume that serves as a chaotic introduction to a wonderfully warped mind. Inspired by the legendary weirdness of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams, this collection is packed with sarcasm, cynicism, and unfiltered observations about social hypocrisy and institutional incompetence. The narrator is crude, politically incorrect, and often self-serving – but somehow, you can't help rooting for him. If you're over 18 and have a strong stomach for dark humour, this one's for you. Grab your copy today – then prepare to question everything you thought you knew about bureaucracy, bad decisions, and the absurdity of everyday life. 
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More Stories To Tell
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Fiction, Mystery, Crime, Space, Satire
The audience is growing. The stories are getting weirder. Welcome back to More Stories to Tell – the second volume in the wonderfully warped Stories to Tell Collection from Australian author Alan Crawford. From his perch in an aged care complex, our favourite grumpy narrator returns with two brand new tales for his ever-growing audience. Growing in numbers, of course, not in individual size. Inside you'll discover: "Goings on in Space": A very strange and messy tale of love, sex, droids, and mean business types who control the known Universe. Think space opera meets absurdist comedy – with a whole lot of chaos thrown in. "A Couple that Kills": The story of a young couple living their lives as professional killers for hire – all while running a semi-rural hippie community selling prize organic beef. Because nothing says wholesome like murder and free-range meat. Inspired by the legendary weirdness of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams, this collection is packed with sarcasm, cynicism, and the kind of absurdity that makes you question everything. If you loved the first volume, this one will not disappoint. If you're new to the collection, start here – or go back to Book 1. But whatever you do, prepare for more absurdity, more dark humour, and more stories that are easy to read but hard to forget. Grab your copy today – and try not to take any of it too seriously.
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Very Odd Short Stories
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Fiction, Satire, Humor, Weird
For readers who find the world just a little too normal... Welcome to Very Odd Short Stories – seventeen gloriously absurd tales from the wonderfully warped imagination of Australian author Alan Crawford. Inspired by the legendary weirdness of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams, these darkly humorous short stories offer a uniquely Australian blend of sarcasm, cynicism, and pure, unfiltered absurdity. Inside this collection, you'll discover: Stories that make you laugh, wince, and question reality – sometimes all on the same page Bureaucrats who become something far worse than monsters Everyday conversations that spiral into complete madness Logic packing its bags and quietly leaving the building The perfect distraction from life's complexity Where do these ideas come from? Nobody knows – not even the author. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the words simply flow. The result is a collection of weird, wonderful, and wonderfully odd tales that will leave you grinning – or scratching your head. Probably both. If you've ever wondered what happens when common sense takes the day off, this collection belongs on your bookshelf. Scroll up and grab your copy today – then prepare to question reality, one gloriously odd story at a time.
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Really Odd Short Stories
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Fiction, Satire, Humor
Welcome to Really Odd Short Stories – seventeen absurdly funny tales from the wonderfully warped imagination of Alan Crawford. Inspired by the legendary weirdness of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams, these darkly humorous short stories offer a uniquely Australian blend of sarcasm, cynicism, and pure, unfiltered absurdity. Inside this collection, you'll discover: Bureaucrats who become something far worse than monsters A Christmas that takes a very unexpected turn Everyday conversations that spiral into complete madness Logic packing its bags and quietly leaving the building Perfect reads for coffee breaks, commutes, or those moments when reality needs a little help becoming stranger Where do these ideas come from? Nobody knows – not even the author. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the words simply flow. The result is a collection of weird, wonderful, and wonderfully odd stories that will leave you grinning – or scratching your head. Probably both. If you've ever wondered what happens when common sense takes the day off, this collection belongs on your bookshelf. Grab your copy today – then prepare to question reality, one gloriously odd story at a time.
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